[January 3, 1:34 am]
Hey. I miss you. I’m pretty sure you don’t miss me, but I was just reminding you that I’m here.
[January 16, 6:09 pm]
A customer in my store smelled like you today. He was wearing the cologne you always used to wear. I couldn’t tell if I wanted to throw up or cry. After he left, I did both in the bathroom.
[February 5, 2:04 pm]
I saw you today and you had that look in your eyes again. I don’t even think that you saw me. But Jesus fuck did I see you. I felt all of my blood was being drained from my veins through a straw as my ribs cracked with each beat of my heart. You probably didn’t even notice me though. Anyway, I really hope that everything is going okay with you.
[April 12, 12:08 am]
I remember when you used to call yourself Jupiter and I, Pluto. You’d say that you could swallow me up whole if you wanted to but you never would. You said that you loved me too much to ever hurt me like that. Well, that was that was bullshit. You demolished me with one look of your eyes and I knew I was ruined. You’re the red spot in Jupiter. You’re a fucking storm that goes on for years, destroying everything in it’s path and I’m just a piece of a broken asteroid that orbits around nobody but you.
[May 1, 4:05 am]
I can’t even see the screen of my phone because I’m crying so hard. Everything is blurry and everything fucking hurts without you. I wish I never met you so I wouldn’t have to go through this constant pain of knowing someone so incredible is out there who cannot be mine all because I ruined everything. I always ruin everything. Goddamnit.
[May 25, 3:56 pm]
Where ever there is water, there is biology. Where ever you were, I used to be. Now that you’re gone, where am
I supposed to go?
[June 15, 12:55 am]
There’s so much blood. Oh god oh god oh god. I fucked up again. I can’t breathe.
[June 22, 10:47 pm]
Do you ever wonder what could’ve been? Because I do all of the time.
[June 30, 1:07 am]
You’re a sun and I’m just an immature naive girl who came too close and burned herself whole.
[June 30th, 3:05 am]
I’d rather lay down in a bed of railroad tracks than even lay in your arms again.
[July 2, 9:45 am]
Late at night when my hands shake with anxiety and my lips tremble with regret, I just need you. I need you to tell me it’ll be okay even though I know that it won’t. I just need to hear your voice say that and maybe I could fall asleep for once.
[July 17, 4:33 am]
I hate you. I hate what you did to me but I hate myself even more because I know that I’d let you do it again in a second if you asked."